Turtles In The Classroom
by G. David Schwartz
Turtles in the classroom do very rarely study math, social studies or English.
Turtles in the classroom are generally philosophy majors. A turtle’s philosophy has many of the same topics as we do in or high school and/or college but they also have topics more “turtle” related.
Turtles have not gone into cooking since a modern cuisine made turtle soup a modern cuisine and that offends them.
Turtles do not have wrists and thus cannot turn pages and use this as an excuse not to read books and not to write music.
Nevertheless, I truly believe that turtles do a bit of thinking, and I also believe that turtles think quite a bit more than what’s for diner and how will we devour food without hands, thumbs or silverware.
These are a few of the thoughts I, not a turtle, have about those who are a turtle. I have been in classrooms; I have studied philosophy, and math, geometry science (both natural and applied), and I know the difference because I am not a turtle, never was, and don’t believe I ever will be, no matter what my animalistic sister tells you.
She’s a frog. Really. Look at her gills.
G. David Schwartz is the former president of Seedhouse, the online interfaith committee. Schwartz is the author of A Jewish Appraisal of Dialogue (1994) and Midrash and Working Out Of The Book (2004) Currently a volunteer at The Cincinnati J, Meals On Wheels. His newest book, Shards And Verse (2011) is now in stores or can be ordered online.