Fun Money, by Ty Gorton
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Fun Money
Ty Gorton
There is the trip to skip con, the slice-n-dice con, the battleship bunker con, the slip de flip con, the heist n’ vanish con, the cheeseburger no onion con, the hyper deuce, the cam n’ spam, the hip crack slag and whack, the slump fun, the stutter wink, the seizure shake…it’s an endless train pulled by the biggest locomotive you ever saw. It’s more fun conning. Even if you gotta wade through six months of regular duty (that’s working a job for you spitties), it’s the knowing what’s coming that makes it worthwhile. Like, I can wash dishes and mop up vomit for days so long as I know that muncher (that’s dumb fuck manager) is going to get caught with his pants down and a bucket full a shame dumped on his head. Figuring the angle, planning the dominoes, getting it all lined up, poised like and ready…that’s the sweaty good stuff. That’s what really gets our rocks off, man, the anticipation of it all.
By the way, don’t lock your back doors. We never go through ‘em, we come right at the front, and you’re gonna want a quick getaway. You putz, you wanker, you silly waddle cunt and your 9 to 5. You’re like butter on toast, mate.
Nature Blind, by Ty Gorton
