My Life – My Story
By Alex Chornyj
Editor’s note: Alex Chornyj is a Reiki Master, poet, writer and spiritual being. His writing reflects the energy and light that surrounds his spirit. This is the true story of one of his father’s cousins.
Very few people look forward to aging. I for one was secure within my humbleness knowing that come what may I would adapt to the coming vicissitudes. Being then the ripe old age of eighty, a feeling of gratitude for such fortunate circumstances was dominant in my thinking.
My husband had passed some five years earlier due to a massive heart attack. He had not suffered and I looked at this as a blessing, shielding him from chronic pain or prolonged low quality of life. This left a great hole in my life, but there was a resilience combined with a sereneness which empowered me to see a light in the following horizons.
These scintillations not only were a source of strength, but happiness as well. Alfred would come to comfort me in the following months while still in the spirit transition stage. This gave me the affirmation of the existence of a beyond. This buoyancy was a positive for each of us in granting a period of contact. It was not expected, but very much appreciated.
As an eighty year old I felt wonderful. I still had my driver’s license and a reliable car. My health was as robust as I could have hoped for. There had been a few episodes of this pressure in my eyes, but an eye examination revealed only that I had the potential for future vision loss.
That really was the extent of any difficulties seen or unforeseen. I still lived in my family house out in the country and one of my daughters resided there more out of concern for me than necessity for her. This was the perfect situation and I cherished each moment that we shared together.
Then on one eventful day I noticed these dark blotches in my vision field. It was like someone had turned out the lights in a few rooms of my house. Upon further optical investigation a prior concern was now realized as to the discovery of being in the early stages of macular degeneration. I heard from the doctor that this was a progressive, degenerative condition which would eventually claim my total sight.
From eighty years of age I experienced a slow decline in my eyesight. I had more frequent occurrences of this increasing darkness until early in my eighty –third year the last remnants of sunshine vanished from my spectrum leaving me in a total state of blindness.
Gone was my sight, my freedom to drive, but more importantly my ability to immerse myself within simple pleasures. There was a period of reflection where this loss I internalized causing me moments of trauma. I just had much doubt as to what my future would be like and I dearly wished to remain in my own home. Up until this point my bedroom had always been on the second floor by use of the stairs, but now this room was shifted to the first floor for my own safety.
I had always valued my independence, but I had to learn to lean a little on my daughter who had always tried in vain to pamper me. My quietness was a sign to my daughter that I was within myself for a while to adapt to my strange condition.
The Canadian National Institute for the Blind was ever so helpful in teaching me life skills and acting as a shoulder of support. I did not want to feel sorry for myself or anyone else to be sad for me. I had known for some time what the inevitability of my prognosis was, but that still didn’t make its arrival any easier to accept. Putting on a brave face was a challenge, but I was determined to continue on.
Other than my blindness, my health was still essentially radiant. Gradually my frame of mind improved and my other senses even became magnified returning calm to a current that had been turbulent. This peace endured for many years.
I learned Braille; how to accept the kindness of help from others and I developed along the way a lengthening patience which brought a new form of light back into what had become a dismal tunnel.
Life again was full of wonders. I had to rely on my daughter for much of my freedom, but once I burned the bridge on believing I was a severe burden things once more turned positive. My flower beds and garden provided me with endless hours of pure placid happiness. It was this growing rapport with the plants that inspired an awareness of classical music and its efficacious influence upon growth and wellness.
Each morning I would play these sweet tones which would inundate my botanical beauties and me. A green thumb I never knew I had saw them flourish in an aura of resplendence. This all enabled me to find a groove once more as a contentment was forming a smiling turquoise sky above me. Having now reached my early nineties, I had no wants or wishes unfulfilled.
There is an old proverb that says when you are not looking for something to happen, that this is when it usually occurs. This world had given me a dear husband and two lovely daughters. I always felt that everything happens for a reason good, bad or indifferent. Having reached such a grand age, my dreams had all been realized. I did my daily mantras in quiet meditation as this exercise was like floating as a feather upon a tranquil breeze. My life had had its peaks, valleys and plateaus, but overall I felt truly lucky and blessed.
It was a regular excursion for my daughter to take me out to brunch on Sundays. Well this Sunday in particular was in late February when I was told by my daughter that as we were rounding a corner a few deer were on the road in front of us.
My girl tried valiantly to steer us out of their path and in doing so put us in the ditch. I hit my head against the window and only remembering at the time of my concern for our safety. The car was slightly dented on two fenders, but other than that no worse for wear.
Sheila, my daughter, was in shock from the experience, but still called for a tow truck to get us back onto the road. Sheila just couldn’t stop apologizing for the incident. I tried to reassure her that it was not her fault and that everything was fine.
When we arrived back at the house I went to my room for a nap, but Sheila had insisted on going to the hospital as she was worried that I may have suffered a concussion. When I woke up I acquiesced to her wishes. When we got to the hospital I felt some strange sensations within my eyes. As we were walking down the hallway I began to sense images and color within my visionary field. Having stopped right in my tracks, Sheila thought something was very wrong.
Her beautiful face appeared to me and I was able to ask her, “ My dear sweet girl how long have you been having those crow’s feet around your eyes.” Well she nearly fainted and after a full complete explanation combined with a check up that followed later, the only valid possibility was the occurrence of a miracle.
I knew not if this was a temporary sight or an enduring one. The only thing I did realize was that this was an extraordinary reversal of fortunes for which I was not asking why, just giving thanks. The coming days were filled with many calls sharing tears of joy and laughter. 
There was no accounting for this gift of renewed vision, just the fact of savoring each moment endowing us with feelings of profound bliss. I comprehended the full meaning when I was alone one night and I was able to hear and see my husband’s spirit once more converse with me in elucidating hues that filled our rainbow with shimmering shades.
I know not how long my sight will last or how much longer I’ll live, just that I’m grateful for each day and the warmth that it accompanies.
