{"id":2748,"date":"2016-04-11T03:41:51","date_gmt":"2016-04-11T03:41:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/?page_id=2748"},"modified":"2016-04-11T03:42:55","modified_gmt":"2016-04-11T03:42:55","slug":"bdiehlapril2016","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/archives\/bdiehlapril2016\/","title":{"rendered":"B. Diehl, April 2016"},"content":{"rendered":"

Road Rage<\/strong><\/p>\n

On my way to work.<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>11 points on my license \u2013\u2013<\/span>
\n<\/span>one more and I’m fucked.<\/span>
\n<\/span>So I’m in the slow lane this morning,<\/span>
\n<\/span>moving along at a steady 65,<\/span>
\n<\/span>doing my best to keep my temper in its cage.<\/span>
\n<\/span>
\n<\/span>To my left, I see a guy zoom past<\/span>
\n<\/span>while reading a newspaper on his steering wheel.<\/span>
\n<\/span>I pretend to have imagined it.<\/span>
\n<\/span>
\n<\/span>Next up on the shit show <\/span>
\n<\/span>is a huge,<\/span> attention-diverting billboard, <\/span>
\n<\/span>which reads, in black, bold letters,<\/span>
\n<\/span>“<\/span>NO TEXTING! NO DISTRACTIONS!<\/b>“<\/span>
\n<\/span>When I nearly rear-end the car in front of me,<\/span>
\n<\/span>the oxymoronic nature of this sign is magnified \u2013\u2013<\/span>
\n<\/span>spiking my anger through clouds.<\/span>
\n<\/span>
\n<\/span>But I bite my lip, rub my eyes, <\/span>
\n<\/span>and decide to flick on the radio.<\/span>
\n<\/span>
\n<\/span>I take a breath and begin sifting through songs:<\/span>
\n<\/span>“Happy” by Pharrel Williams,<\/span>
\n<\/span>“Best Day of My Life” by American Authors,<\/span>
\n<\/span>“On Top of the World” by Imagine Dragons \u2013\u2013<\/span>
\n<\/span>too many blindly optimistic musicians for one sitting.<\/span>
\n<\/span>And though I try to avoid getting bitter over it,<\/span>
\n<\/span>all I can think of is how badly<\/span>
\n<\/span>I want to lick the coat of sugar from their double-talk words<\/span>
\n<\/span>and swallow the core of the sadness beneath \u2013\u2013<\/span>
\n<\/span>because that’s the only way to build muscle in the mind.<\/span>
\n<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/i>I switch off the radio and listen to nothing.<\/span>
\n<\/span>
\n<\/span>There’s some bald guy behind me<\/span>
\n<\/span>in an ugly, green pickup truck<\/span>
\n<\/span>and he keeps riding my tail like it’s mating season.<\/span>
\n<\/span>When I stick my arm out the window<\/span>
\n<\/span>and motion for him to go around me, he just inches closer.<\/span>
\n<\/span>It makes me wish I had a bumper sticker that said,<\/span>
\n<\/span>“NEVER TAILGATE A PESSIMISTIC NIHILIST.”<\/span>
\n<\/span>
\n<\/span>“Fuck it,” I say, <\/span>
\n<\/span>slamming on my brakes, <\/span>
\n<\/span>hearing the skid, and letting the stench<\/span>
\n<\/span>of burnt rubber crawl its way up my nose.<\/span>
\n<\/span>
\n<\/span>And then I watch the guy in my rearview mirror \u2013\u2013<\/span>
\n<\/span>I watch him flailing about like a schizophrenic turkey.<\/span>
\n<\/span>He swerves into the middle lane, speeds past, gives me the finger.<\/span>
\n<\/span>I respond with a wave and a smile.<\/span>
\n<\/span>
\n<\/span>It’s 7:30 in the morning <\/span>
\n<\/span>and I’m already worn out\u2013\u2013<\/span>
\n<\/span>cruising in my automatic car with my automatic rage \u2013\u2013<\/span>
\n<\/span>triggers everywhere: the half-assed heat,<\/span>
\n<\/span>the cramped interior, <\/span>
\n<\/span>cracked windshield, rock-hard seats.<\/span>
\n<\/span>
\n<\/span>“Okay,” I tell myself, “relax. <\/span>
\n<\/span>There are starving children in Africa.<\/span>
\n<\/span>You don’t have it that bad.\u201d<\/span>
\n<\/span>But then I think of those children and envy<\/span> them<\/span>
\n<\/span>for their low expectations.<\/span>
\n<\/span>(Hand them a glass of clean water and they’re ecstatic.<\/span>
\n<\/span>But Americans? Give us a Porsche <\/span>
\n<\/span>and we’ll complain we wanted a Ferrari.)<\/span>
\n<\/span>
\n<\/span>Anyway\u2026I’m at a red light now.<\/span>
\n<\/span>There is a bar on the corner.<\/span>
\n<\/span>Two middle-aged men walk out of it,<\/span>
\n<\/span>both swaying, both obliterated as Hell \u2013\u2013<\/span>
\n<\/span>yet\u2026they get in two separate cars and speed away.<\/span>
\n<\/span>
\n<\/span>(Yesterday, a cop pulled me over <\/span>
\n<\/span>for doing thirty in a twenty-five. <\/span>
\n<\/span>Where’s that idiot <\/span>now?<\/span><\/i>)<\/span>
\n<\/span>
\n<\/span>Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span>
\n<\/span>As I merge onto the freeway, the scenery shifts:<\/span>
\n<\/span>a cloud disintegrates, exposing the sun<\/span>
\n<\/span>and I find myself wishing the light would fuck off.<\/span>
\n<\/span>I pull down my sun visor and there <\/span>
\n<\/span>in the mirror, I see a gray hair on my head<\/span>
\n<\/span>I hadn\u2019t noticed before.<\/span>
\n<\/span>
\n<\/span>Reminder to myself:<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>at least I\u2019m getting closer <\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>to paradise.<\/span><\/i><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

B. Diehl co-authored of the poetry chapbook <\/em>Temporary Obscurity <\/em>(Indigent Press, 2015) with Charles Joseph. He is also the sole writer of the full-length poetry collection <\/em>Zeller\u2019s Alley <\/em>(White Gorilla Press, 2016). When he is not writing, you can usually find him at home, hanging out with his cats and\/or feeding his social media addiction. He still lives with his parents.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Road Rage On my way to work. 11 points on my license \u2013\u2013 one more and I’m fucked. So I’m in the slow lane this morning, moving along at a steady 65, doing my best to keep my temper in its cage. To my left, I see a guy zoom past while reading a newspaper […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":934,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-2748","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"yoast_head":"\nB. Diehl, April 2016 - Full Of Crow: Poetry (Archives)<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/archives\/bdiehlapril2016\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"B. Diehl, April 2016 - Full Of Crow: Poetry (Archives)\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Road Rage On my way to work. 11 points on my license \u2013\u2013 one more and I’m fucked. So I’m in the slow lane this morning, moving along at a steady 65, doing my best to keep my temper in its cage. To my left, I see a guy zoom past while reading a newspaper […]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/archives\/bdiehlapril2016\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Full Of Crow: Poetry (Archives)\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2016-04-11T03:42:55+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/archives\/bdiehlapril2016\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/archives\/bdiehlapril2016\/\",\"name\":\"B. Diehl, April 2016 - Full Of Crow: Poetry (Archives)\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2016-04-11T03:41:51+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2016-04-11T03:42:55+00:00\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/archives\/bdiehlapril2016\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/archives\/bdiehlapril2016\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/archives\/bdiehlapril2016\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Archives\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/archives\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":3,\"name\":\"B. Diehl, April 2016\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/\",\"name\":\"Full Of Crow: Poetry (Archives)\",\"description\":\"Archives Of Previous Issues\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"B. Diehl, April 2016 - Full Of Crow: Poetry (Archives)","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/archives\/bdiehlapril2016\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"B. Diehl, April 2016 - Full Of Crow: Poetry (Archives)","og_description":"Road Rage On my way to work. 11 points on my license \u2013\u2013 one more and I’m fucked. So I’m in the slow lane this morning, moving along at a steady 65, doing my best to keep my temper in its cage. To my left, I see a guy zoom past while reading a newspaper […]","og_url":"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/archives\/bdiehlapril2016\/","og_site_name":"Full Of Crow: Poetry (Archives)","article_modified_time":"2016-04-11T03:42:55+00:00","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/archives\/bdiehlapril2016\/","url":"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/archives\/bdiehlapril2016\/","name":"B. Diehl, April 2016 - Full Of Crow: Poetry (Archives)","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/#website"},"datePublished":"2016-04-11T03:41:51+00:00","dateModified":"2016-04-11T03:42:55+00:00","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/archives\/bdiehlapril2016\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/archives\/bdiehlapril2016\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/archives\/bdiehlapril2016\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Archives","item":"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/archives\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"B. Diehl, April 2016"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/","name":"Full Of Crow: Poetry (Archives)","description":"Archives Of Previous Issues","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2748","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2748"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2748\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2750,"href":"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2748\/revisions\/2750"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/934"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fullofcrow.com\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2748"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}